Adventures in Subbing

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Day 12: Say Goodbye to Jealousy

Alright - some good advise here.  What I am really hearing is that you shouldn't dwell on the things that make you unhappy. . .  but it isn't really what I read.

I was really thinking this woman must be crazy if she thinks that men should be coddled an served.  Draw the line somewhere, please.  I am jealous that my husband works out when I want to so I then decide to do all of the stupid chores that I really just want to share.  We both get home late and both want time to get a work out in.  One of us has to give and go clean up the disaster that we call a home.  OOO, OOOO, can I?
pooey

And women . . . yep.  I am a jealous person.  Not because I am untrusting, but because I have low self esteem.  That is where jealousy stems from, not from lack of trush in a spouse or God.

So, frankly I was disappointed in this challenge due to the lecture I felt I got while reading it.

Should a person let go of jealousy?  Or should a person get to the route of it and work through it?

ps - my computure wants to autocorrect "untrusting" to "interesting."  What's the deal with that?

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

DAY 11: Pray more for your family

Well, that's an easy one!  Of course we should all do this.
I had a great conversation with my 13yo one night after youth group.  She is new to the youth group and the church I am sending her to.  I thoroughly love the folks heading up the tutoring program before youth group and I love the families of kids who are going, so I thought it would be a good thing for the girls to get involved in outside of school or sports.
C said they were saying prayers one night and that the prayers seemed selfish.  She said that praying seems selfish and she doesn't know how to pray so that she isn't that way.  I told her just not to pray for things for herself and that I really don't know the answer, but I agree with her.  We talked a lot that night about it. . . and that girl can talk . . . for hours.  She holds it all in until about 10pm and then she pours out the events and feelings of the day.  I do love it though.
Anyway, I suggested that she use an "already made" prayer or to make up her own that doesn't change from night-to-night.  This way, she could be sure to keep selfish wants out of it.  We also talked about asking God for strength and patience, as those are things that could really benefit others as well as yourself.

I could definitely spend some time praying more for my family though.  It is always a good suggestion and it makes for a very easy challenge.

Monday, February 10, 2014

Day 10: Don't Compare Your Family to Other Families

Maybe I should recap and see how I'm doing here - no need actually - our home is kind of a bust at the moment.  This challenge is really for a home that doesn't have so much going on.  We can't focus on family dynamics right now and my little one has informed me of that.  He really wants to have a "normal" house where the families sit down and spend time hanging out - eating - watching TV - talking.
Oh, me too buddy, me too.

So, he was feeling down because he spent some time at a friend's house whose family did that.  I let him talk about it and tell me how much he liked being at his friend's.  I told him I understand and I would let him go over often.  I couldn't promise him we would have a house like that though.

The bid difference?  CJ is the youngest and his pal is the oldest.  We have older kids headed in a thousand directions.  I think that CJ forgets that . . . and we forget how much he still needs us despite being 12.

I don't compare us to other families and really don't like my kids to . . . but I know they can't help it.  For the most part my older two would rather have their friends at our house and hang out - but my little one doesn't feel the same.

I am still learning all about him and hope that soon we can give him what he thinks he is missing.  I am aware now and I think that is half the battle.

Friday, February 7, 2014

Day 9: Share Your Family's Interests

sharing your family's interests

Now here is a challenge that I like!  And of course, I'm sharing the interest in hockey tonight as we watch the first game in the regional championships for high school hockey.  Should be a nail biter, that is for sure.  Last game against this team I believe the phrase "I'll f*&% kill you" was muttered to my son.  I think that child is not playing tonight . . . and it's weird anyway since they are pals.  Heat of the moment I'm sure.

I really liked the suggestions from this blogger about sharing interest.  Especially about giving your kids TIME to explore them.  That is definitely something that kids don't get enough of.  I was just thinking about that yesterday.  My kids really have no time - or at least, they don't use it wisely.  They are always in such a hurry to accomplish something or a hurry to "relax" in front of the Xbox or TV.  It is such a shame that we have to schedule time for fun . . . but we do.    

I will be chatting with them this weekend and next week about finding time.  I know they love to skate and snow board.  Maybe in the spirit of the Olympics I will get them out side.  Of course, my daughter scheduled two babysitting jobs and is backed up on homework and my oldest has a big history day project due Monday in the midst of all of his hockey games.  My youngest gets to go play with a pal tonight though - grateful for that!

So, folks, Get Out There and Play a little, cheer a little, dance a little, read a little. . . 
your children deserve it!

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Day 8 "Follow the Leader"

happy family
Um, what?
Okay folks, this does not mean to physically play follow the leader throughout your house.  It was suggested that women follow their leader . . . their husbands and that it is a way to avoid disputes and then everyone knows who has the last word.  A whole bunch of other things were mentioned but I'm narrowing this down.  I will not follow the leader, my husband.  I will listen to my PARTNER and go with those suggestions if they are reasonable.  I will not blindly follow. 
 I like to call this day - "pick your battles".  
I am not promoting a subservient home, nor will I.  I am all about being a partner and doing what works best for everyone.  I am not a SAHM and do not have all of the time in the world to be at every one's beck-n-call.  I do enjoy doing for others because it is the right thing to do, not because I'm serving my mr.  
So, follow the leader in your own way.  If you don't normally budge on fairly irrelevant issues - then by all means - give it a try - you will find yourself at peace more often.  I already budge because I'm picking my battles.  How important is it to have green walls?  Can I make tan walls look good? You bet.  Do I really care?  No.  Is it important to leave out the meat in pasta sauce because it is the way I like it?  NO.  If I don't like the mean, I just won't eat it and everyone else can enjoy their meal.  Seriously, what is the big deal.  You've got to give a little to get a little. If what I want is peace and quiet, then maybe I need to put a dinner on the table that everyone will eat once in a while.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

How am I Doing? **Oh** and Day 7

Let me start with a HaPpY BiRtHdAy to my newly 17 year old!  He'll never read this . . . but it has to be said.

Every year on the children's birthdays, I think about my pregnancies and their births.  The wicked heart burn and strange rash.  All of the baking and weight gain and weird hair colors.  I won't rehash it here - I actually probably already have, several times.  I would like to say though, that I am proud of my eldest.  He is nutty and has a ridiculous sense of humor, but he also has a kind heart and understands how to be a good person.

Today's challenge is to start a new family tradition.  In almost 20 years of marriage, we have started a lot of them.

1) We (like many other families) open pajamas on Christmas Eve and then take silly pictures.
2) We have sleep overs in our bedroom with the kids and watch movies or DVR'd episodes.
3) Family meals for birthdays - birthday person's choice - no matter what.
4) Fall photos in our yard or on our driveway.
6) Painted or silly socks for Grandpa - been doing that since I was in college :)
7) We use the very first baby cradle that Mr.'s grandpa built and we lend it out to whomever needs it - then carve the babies names & birth dates in the wood.
8) Holiday cookies (duh)
9) Star on the tree on Christmas Eve
10) Cutting down a Christmas tree with family and then up to Mimi & Bob's for treats! **One of our newest, most treasured traditions.
11)
12)
. . .

There is always room for a new tradition.  Test the waters.  See what fits - and stop doing the things that are draining the life out you and your family.  Traditions should hold meaning along with memories.  There is no reason to hold onto a tradition that no one likes, like brussels sprouts at Thanksgiving that no one eats.

Monday, February 3, 2014

Write a (kind) Note!

Happy Family

Oh, I wrote a note today, alright . . . then stopped myself from writing the second one.

Note 1) Please excuse J's tardy.  Thank you. RDonald
For crying out loud, ya think you could make it in time for in-school suspension?  C'mon now kid.  Oh, and you need me to start your car?  Oh order you new shoes?   
**how do I write that spitty sound one makes when sticking out the tongue and spitting?**

Note 2 would have been "DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT PLUGGING THIS INTERNET BACK IN!"
A house of 8 can quickly buzz through allotted Internet time.  It is disturbing.  You've got 4 on phones -  2 on ipods, and 2 on tablets - then there are 2 of those using x-box live.  3 Others streaming Netflix.  1 is a you tube fanatic.  Two days shy of the new month and they couldn't hold back.  Tack on another bajillion dollars for that one.

On a serious note (see what I did there?)  I love note writing.  I write notes to the kids every so often throughout the year and put them into their baby books.   I love the idea of  them finding the notes when they least expect it.  J's bday is Wednesday and I'm sure I'll be doing a lot of note writing for that one.  He will be 17.  WHAAAAAATTT?  How crazy is that?  He also has a really big hockey game this week.  It decides if his team will attend the state tournament in Anchorage or not.  We haven't been this close to attending state in aeons, and there are only 4 teams in our district.  Seriously.

Oh the notes I could write right now . . . if I had a tad more time - but back to work I go.
I'll leave you all with this -
If you're going to blow you Internet usage outta the water - make it useful - check out Leverage on Netflix  :)