So, those running pictures you post all of the time - only 4 people genuinely give a shit and you're related to them. No, not your kids . . . they miss you.
You got a new (insert ridiculously expensive item here)? We don't care about that either. You're always getting new shit. Easy to do when you're raking in the dough for things like giving birth, people dieing, or grandma invented flibitygibbits.
You made a who a what? How selfless of you. Thanks for posting about the last 24 items you generously made and gave away to strangers - BTW - I like you way more now that I know it cost you 250.00 to make each one.
What? You're taking a trip sans kids? Again. With a new wardrobe? Thanks for sharing! I want to be you. Mission accomplished.
And if it weren't for you, some poor souls would never have bought their dream house for 9K over asking. How generous of you.
Running again? You're a rock star. Keep it up.
Dear Universe,
Thank you for the great shit to blog about. Keep showing us your selfless sides ladies!
ps I have a big pumpkin plant. Jealous? Don't be, It doesn't grow pumpkins; I just wanted to brag.
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