We could all use some sleep, right?! I sit here in this library and just want to lay my head down on this semi-clean work space and close my eyes. I can feel the heaviness in the back of my eyes as my almost-40 eyelids begin to droop, mostly at the outer edges. When I get really sleepy, I just know my left eye crosses over to my right and asks it what the hell it's doing open. My right eye really does obey much better than the left. It definitely makes me aware that the little angel that perches on my right shoulder is much stronger than the nymph on the left.
I feel so much better today than yesterday. I still have these moments where I want to succumb to the sandman, and I know if I weren't on this diet, my head would be far more congested than it is and if there were food in my body, I wouldn't be holding it in well. The body tingles are gone for the most part which is a huge relief. I hate those!
Jay, however, is not fairing quite as well. His back is aching and his neck (I swear he carries his viruses in his back). He is exhausted and stomach aches. He didn't sleep a lick last night, while I slumbered away and was almost willing to get up at 5 a.m. (but not quite).
Carly is holding on to her ear infection. She is having the worst time remembering to take her antibiotics at a reasonable hour. When I reminder, we can't figure out where she put them last; even though we have a cabinet just for meds.
Caden has still outsmarted the virus. He is one tough cookie. From day one he's been the one with the greatest immune system AND HE WAS THE ONLY ONE NOT BREAST FED! That's right. He is the cookie and pasta eater.
Jason is wearing the boot for his broken ankle. Course, he forgot his crutches in Dad's truck last night so it was off to school without them. He thinks he is so tough and ready to play hockey . . . we will see how he fairs with this one. Last night, he had to watch his team play hockey from the stands. He hung out with a buddy from baseball that graduated last year - I swear he has a man-crush on Jase. Not in a creepy-Sandusky way, just tries to take the freshman athlete under his wing (and afraid to move on with his life I think). The kid has even friended me on FB, texts J & I - hmmmm, missing some key parental figures during this pertinent time of his life? I think so.
Our big boys? They are a novel in themselves. John is running from work to practice to ice dogs games and throws in hunting and family time. Jake is, well, a really bored 19 yr old. He works and then sits in the cave upstairs and chews tobacco while playing video games or watching movies on his phone. Boy does that boy need a hobby. He will occasionally go hunting with John or catch an Ice Dogs game, but not often. He babysat last night for me though and he is always polite and uses manners. If we ask, he will haul wood too.
I wish there were things I could do to help him adjust to Alaska and being away from home. I know he probably just wants to get out of our house, into his own place, and get a life. Believe me, sometimes that is what I want too, and I know that is what Jay wants - he can only take so much of them emptying the coffee pot in the morning. Mostly, I want him to be safe and not fall into any bad habits that can happen up here with 6 months of winter and 3 of them dark.
On to my sister, who I miss a lot. Though I'm glad she isn't stuck up here at -45*! Idaho sounds like a great place. I know a lot of people who left here and chose Boise as their new home. My sister is my inspiration to create my holidays instead of purchase them.
With the holidays approaching I realize how much (and little) we really have right now. I have no desire to add to our clutter. I don't want more toys in the kid's rooms. I don't want to purchase more food, though I know I need to with Thanksgiving next week. We will be having a very low key Thanksgiving with some brunch and grazing thrown in. My dad wants to go out to dinner so Theresa, his wife, doesn't have to cook and clean, as she begins radiation that Wednesday. I invited them over, but they are taking "her" family out to dinner instead. If they thought it were so important, they should have hosted a dinner instead of making my dad pay for it.
We have not begun any shopping or gift making for anyone yet. I haven't any idea what to do for my children. I'm sure Santa can cover a little bit, like he always does, but I like to do things for my kids too. This year we have a ka-gillion bills to cover for hockey and medical . . . so I'm not sure how much mom & dad will be able to do for the kids. Maybe they'll be grateful for all of the hugs and kisses I'll shower them with.?!? I wish I had an idea what to do for the kids tho, they have so much already. Maybe things like boxes of popcorn and homemade felt grocery bags filled with all of their favorite treats. Last year we did coupons - the kids could turn a coupon in for a lunch out with mom or dad, a room cleaning, movie night, game night . . . etc. I don't think that will fly this year, but I'm considering a gift card scrap book with itunes, American Eagle, WalMart, Fred Meyer, Sports Authority. Gee, I think I want one of those!
I long for the day I can just cook dinner and help the kids with homework and them put them to bed. It sounds heavenly to me. Low key, no driving involved.
Yesterday I had to drive to work - middle school - home - UAF (rink) - Dipper (rink) - UAF (rink) - home. Its, like, a million miles or something. Tonight? NO HOCKEY!!! I do believe I will do spaghetti for dinner with meat sauce and garlic/cheese bread. I never get to eat it, but it will feel good making it.