I'm older now . . . and let's face it, you're annoying

So, those running pictures you post all of the time - only 4 people genuinely give a shit and you're related to them.  No, not your kids .  . .  they miss you.

You got a  new (insert ridiculously expensive item here)?  We don't care about that either.  You're always getting new shit.  Easy to do when you're raking in the dough for things like giving birth, people dieing, or grandma invented flibitygibbits.

You made a who a what?  How selfless of you.  Thanks for posting about the last 24 items you generously made and gave away to strangers - BTW - I like  you way more now that I know it cost you 250.00 to make each one.

What?  You're taking a trip sans kids?  Again. With a new wardrobe?  Thanks for sharing!  I want to be you.  Mission accomplished.

And if it weren't for you, some poor souls would never have bought their dream house for 9K over asking.  How generous of you.

Running again?  You're a rock star.  Keep it up.



Dear Universe,
Thank you for the great shit to blog about.  Keep showing us your selfless sides ladies!
ps  I have a big pumpkin plant.  Jealous?  Don't be,  It doesn't grow pumpkins; I just wanted to brag.

So long!

It has been so long.  I stopped blogging because people reading it (family and friends) decided that what I was saying was about them or aimed at them, and they decided to take things personally.  Seriously?  Oh, if the world would stop being so self consumed.

But I'm back on here today because a memory popped up about my daughter and a little history of her life struggle in education.  I read through it and do you know what?  Nothing has changed except that she has more tricks under her cap for working through the problems. 

Still no IEP or 504 - they say she doesn't need one.  I'm here to tell you though, that she does - and right quick before she is off to college and there is no reason for anyone to let her take a test in a quiet secluded room or take an extra day to finish a reading or extra 40 minutes to finish a test.

Day 12: Say Goodbye to Jealousy

Alright - some good advise here.  What I am really hearing is that you shouldn't dwell on the things that make you unhappy. . .  but it isn't really what I read.

I was really thinking this woman must be crazy if she thinks that men should be coddled an served.  Draw the line somewhere, please.  I am jealous that my husband works out when I want to so I then decide to do all of the stupid chores that I really just want to share.  We both get home late and both want time to get a work out in.  One of us has to give and go clean up the disaster that we call a home.  OOO, OOOO, can I?
pooey

And women . . . yep.  I am a jealous person.  Not because I am untrusting, but because I have low self esteem.  That is where jealousy stems from, not from lack of trush in a spouse or God.

So, frankly I was disappointed in this challenge due to the lecture I felt I got while reading it.

Should a person let go of jealousy?  Or should a person get to the route of it and work through it?

ps - my computure wants to autocorrect "untrusting" to "interesting."  What's the deal with that?

DAY 11: Pray more for your family

Well, that's an easy one!  Of course we should all do this.
I had a great conversation with my 13yo one night after youth group.  She is new to the youth group and the church I am sending her to.  I thoroughly love the folks heading up the tutoring program before youth group and I love the families of kids who are going, so I thought it would be a good thing for the girls to get involved in outside of school or sports.
C said they were saying prayers one night and that the prayers seemed selfish.  She said that praying seems selfish and she doesn't know how to pray so that she isn't that way.  I told her just not to pray for things for herself and that I really don't know the answer, but I agree with her.  We talked a lot that night about it. . . and that girl can talk . . . for hours.  She holds it all in until about 10pm and then she pours out the events and feelings of the day.  I do love it though.
Anyway, I suggested that she use an "already made" prayer or to make up her own that doesn't change from night-to-night.  This way, she could be sure to keep selfish wants out of it.  We also talked about asking God for strength and patience, as those are things that could really benefit others as well as yourself.

I could definitely spend some time praying more for my family though.  It is always a good suggestion and it makes for a very easy challenge.

Day 10: Don't Compare Your Family to Other Families

Maybe I should recap and see how I'm doing here - no need actually - our home is kind of a bust at the moment.  This challenge is really for a home that doesn't have so much going on.  We can't focus on family dynamics right now and my little one has informed me of that.  He really wants to have a "normal" house where the families sit down and spend time hanging out - eating - watching TV - talking.
Oh, me too buddy, me too.

So, he was feeling down because he spent some time at a friend's house whose family did that.  I let him talk about it and tell me how much he liked being at his friend's.  I told him I understand and I would let him go over often.  I couldn't promise him we would have a house like that though.

The bid difference?  CJ is the youngest and his pal is the oldest.  We have older kids headed in a thousand directions.  I think that CJ forgets that . . . and we forget how much he still needs us despite being 12.

I don't compare us to other families and really don't like my kids to . . . but I know they can't help it.  For the most part my older two would rather have their friends at our house and hang out - but my little one doesn't feel the same.

I am still learning all about him and hope that soon we can give him what he thinks he is missing.  I am aware now and I think that is half the battle.

Day 9: Share Your Family's Interests

Now here is a challenge that I like!  And of course, I'm sharing the interest in hockey tonight as we watch the first game in the regional championships for high school hockey.  Should be a nail biter, that is for sure.  Last game against this team I believe the phrase "I'll f*&% kill you" was muttered to my son.  I think that child is not playing tonight . . . and it's weird anyway since they are pals.  Heat of the moment I'm sure.

I really liked the suggestions from this blogger about sharing interest.  Especially about giving your kids TIME to explore them.  That is definitely something that kids don't get enough of.  I was just thinking about that yesterday.  My kids really have no time - or at least, they don't use it wisely.  They are always in such a hurry to accomplish something or a hurry to "relax" in front of the Xbox or TV.  It is such a shame that we have to schedule time for fun . . . but we do.    

I will be chatting with them this weekend and next week about finding time.  I know they love to skate and snow board.  Maybe in the spirit of the Olympics I will get them out side.  Of course, my daughter scheduled two babysitting jobs and is backed up on homework and my oldest has a big history day project due Monday in the midst of all of his hockey games.  My youngest gets to go play with a pal tonight though - grateful for that!

So, folks, Get Out There and Play a little, cheer a little, dance a little, read a little. . . 

your children deserve it!

Day 8 "Follow the Leader"

Um, what?

Okay folks, this does not mean to physically play follow the leader throughout your house.  It was suggested that women follow their leader . . . their husbands and that it is a way to avoid disputes and then everyone knows who has the last word.  A whole bunch of other things were mentioned but I'm narrowing this down.  I will not follow the leader, my husband.  I will listen to my PARTNER and go with those suggestions if they are reasonable.  I will not blindly follow. 

 I like to call this day - "pick your battles".  

I am not promoting a subservient home, nor will I.  I am all about being a partner and doing what works best for everyone.  I am not a SAHM and do not have all of the time in the world to be at every one's beck-n-call.  I do enjoy doing for others because it is the right thing to do, not because I'm serving my mr.  

So, follow the leader in your own way.  If you don't normally budge on fairly irrelevant issues - then by all means - give it a try - you will find yourself at peace more often.  I already budge because I'm picking my battles.  How important is it to have green walls?  Can I make tan walls look good? You bet.  Do I really care?  No.  Is it important to leave out the meat in pasta sauce because it is the way I like it?  NO.  If I don't like the mean, I just won't eat it and everyone else can enjoy their meal.  Seriously, what is the big deal.  You've got to give a little to get a little. If what I want is peace and quiet, then maybe I need to put a dinner on the table that everyone will eat once in a while.

How am I Doing? **Oh** and Day 7

Let me start with a HaPpY BiRtHdAy to my newly 17 year old!  He'll never read this . . . but it has to be said.

Every year on the children's birthdays, I think about my pregnancies and their births.  The wicked heart burn and strange rash.  All of the baking and weight gain and weird hair colors.  I won't rehash it here - I actually probably already have, several times.  I would like to say though, that I am proud of my eldest.  He is nutty and has a ridiculous sense of humor, but he also has a kind heart and understands how to be a good person.

Today's challenge is to start a new family tradition.  In almost 20 years of marriage, we have started a lot of them.

1) We (like many other families) open pajamas on Christmas Eve and then take silly pictures.
2) We have sleep overs in our bedroom with the kids and watch movies or DVR'd episodes.
3) Family meals for birthdays - birthday person's choice - no matter what.
4) Fall photos in our yard or on our driveway.
6) Painted or silly socks for Grandpa - been doing that since I was in college :)
7) We use the very first baby cradle that Mr.'s grandpa built and we lend it out to whomever needs it - then carve the babies names & birth dates in the wood.
8) Holiday cookies (duh)
9) Star on the tree on Christmas Eve
10) Cutting down a Christmas tree with family and then up to Mimi & Bob's for treats! **One of our newest, most treasured traditions.
11)
12)
. . .

There is always room for a new tradition.  Test the waters.  See what fits - and stop doing the things that are draining the life out you and your family.  Traditions should hold meaning along with memories.  There is no reason to hold onto a tradition that no one likes, like brussels sprouts at Thanksgiving that no one eats.

Write a (kind) Note!

Oh, I wrote a note today, alright . . . then stopped myself from writing the second one.

Note 1) Please excuse J's tardy.  Thank you. RDonald

For crying out loud, ya think you could make it in time for in-school suspension?  C'mon now kid.  Oh, and you need me to start your car?  Oh order you new shoes?   

**how do I write that spitty sound one makes when sticking out the tongue and spitting?**

Note 2 would have been "DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT PLUGGING THIS INTERNET BACK IN!"

A house of 8 can quickly buzz through allotted Internet time.  It is disturbing.  You've got 4 on phones -  2 on ipods, and 2 on tablets - then there are 2 of those using x-box live.  3 Others streaming Netflix.  1 is a you tube fanatic.  Two days shy of the new month and they couldn't hold back.  Tack on another bajillion dollars for that one.

On a serious note (see what I did there?)  I love note writing.  I write notes to the kids every so often throughout the year and put them into their baby books.   I love the idea of  them finding the notes when they least expect it.  J's bday is Wednesday and I'm sure I'll be doing a lot of note writing for that one.  He will be 17.  WHAAAAAATTT?  How crazy is that?  He also has a really big hockey game this week.  It decides if his team will attend the state tournament in Anchorage or not.  We haven't been this close to attending state in aeons, and there are only 4 teams in our district.  Seriously.

Oh the notes I could write right now . . . if I had a tad more time - but back to work I go.

I'll leave you all with this -

If you're going to blow you Internet usage outta the water - make it useful - check out Leverage on Netflix  :)

Ah, a sweet thought.  She even added ideas to do this when you are a bit strapped for cash.

Let me start by saying that I full heartily agree with the things in this challenge so far . . . but I cannot curb my sarcasm (maybe that is why my home isn't so happy 24/7 - or maybe that is because I'm human)  My how this challenge is morphing.

So - since CJ just txt me he is leaving school and heading to a wrestling tournament that we said he couldn't go to - I'm not sure I'll be feeling very cozy toward him tonight.

J got written up again today for "insubordination" and he has a hockey game in Polar Ice (seriously - it's the name) - he won't be feelin' the love either.  He stopped texting me when I told him to get his ass up to the teacher and apologize.

C was a tyrant 13 yr old last night with uncontrollable emotions - she probably needs the love & coziness . . . but instead I said she isn't babysitting and she will have to do all of her homework - 

No love there.

M is not feeling well - welcome to the club honey - everyone in my house is SICK, SICK, SICK.

**thank you flu shot - I'm feeling fine thx**

But I really do like cleaning up before MR gets home on Saturdays and lighting scented candles.  I like to dust and vacuum and make a good dinner.  Those things are always appreciated by the mr, and usually by everyone else.

So, this weekend I will do a few touches to make the house feel like a home and then we will get ready for the birthday party (mr is calling it a super bowl party) on Sunday.

M turns 15 on Saturday and J turns 17 on the 5th.

J asked for a stereo for his can and sub woofers - so I barked in a deep voice.  I guess that isn't funny.  Now, if I can just find a barking card to give him I'll be happy.

We are at a loss as to what to get M.  We have a ton of idea, but haven't been able to narrow it down.  I didn't get the order in on time for what we finally did decide . . . so it is off to search for it around town.  Cross your fingers folks!  

So, I'll let you all know if I manage to spruce up my home and make it cozy.  Maybe I'll pick up some sugar cookie scented room spray - everyone loves cookies.

Day 4: Stop Seeking Praise . . . Hello? FB? Can You Hear Me?

Of course we don't do this . . .no way.  We don't put ourselves down hoping someone else will lift us up in praise.  HA!  Have you been on FB lately?  Everyone wants reassurance that they are doing it right, that they look right, that they are parenting right . . . 

You know how to tell? 

Did you succeed?  

If you didn't did you learn from it and try again?

How did it go?

Oh look, you were able to figure that out on your own.  Congratulations.

Okay, that is probably not what was meant by this challenge.  I should not seek praise.  Does that mean I shouldn't expect a thank you for a good dinner?  Or does it mean I should make a good dinner and not expect anyone to comment on it's deliciousness?  I guess this challenge can be confusing because I have seen real praise seekers, like the junkies of FB whose posts are only there to gain self esteem and assurance.  

I am one of the first to be annoyed.  I always want to comment things like, "My mom died too, but you don't see me whining about it on FB every day."  Or "Hey, I got a new dish towel, but you don't see a photo of it on here."    And who are those people that constantly buy into it and comment back exactly what the poster wants to hear?  "Oh, it's okay.  Be strong.  You're a great person!"  Blech.  How about, "Get over it! Move on!"

So, as annoyed as I get at the praise seekers . . . I really hope I'm not one.  

{i wonder if someone will comment that i'm not so i feel better about myself}hehe  

Just Say Yes!

Okay, I'm not seeing how this is going to apply to me . . . it is like I need to just say "no" at home.  A few years ago, I did apply this concept.  I thought, "why am I saying NO?  It's just painting (or whatever the little joy is my children wanted to partake in)."  It really did make for a more relaxing mommy.  Sure they could paint, but let's use a mat.  You want to make a fort?  Of course, but we also have to put things away.  It is certainly more fun to be a yes SAHM than a no.  Now that the kids are older, saying yes can really get me into trouble.  You say yes to one, you better be saying yes to all of 'em.  It better all be equal. . . at least according to them it should be.  I say, I am the mom and I if CJ vacuums and wants TV time, sure!  Or if CJ is fighting with C and C wants to escape to my room for a movie- Go! Run!  Hide!

So, if you find that you are predominantly saying no because of this or that . . . take a minute to really ask why you did.  Sometimes, that yes will really free everyone!

Day 2

 . . . I've been stuck at day 2.  I've been playing referee and it is driving me crazy.  Hard not to be snarky to the kids when they pulled each other's strings on their impromptu 3-day weekend due to freezing rain.

25 Days, day 2

Don’t interrupt your husband.
Don’t criticize your husband.
Don’t snap at your kids.
Don’t make fun of anyone in your family.
Speak softly and in soothing tones to your family.
Say three kind things to everyone in your home today.

I am pretty sure this one will be a piece of cake.  

No, not really.  I am a sarcastic person and feel free to do so in my house.  Poking fun at my family is something I do in light - never malicious.  I can take some time and change that though.  Hopefully, the kids will make a few of their own changes in the way they treat each other.

Now - on to the rules about how to treat your mr.  I think that specifying that those are not ways to treat your mr. is silly - you shouldn't interrupt anyone or criticize anyone.  I'll be adapting those two.

http://pintsizedtreasures.com/2013/11/26/super-challenge-25-days-to-a-happier-home-day-2/

25 Days

http://pintsizedtreasures.com/2013/11/25/super-challenge-25-days-to-a-happier-home-day-1/

Taking the Challenge, though it will take me far more than 25 days because I will constantly forget to log in and see what day is next. . .

maybe I should make myself a calendar.  

So, day 1 is Count your Blessings.

That is something I have been thinking a lot about lately.  A few things have been going on in our lives that has made me question 17 years of parenting skills.  I know that you are wondering what my children did - but the answer is "Nothing."  For some reason or another we have begun to be judged and it has become a topic of conversations among people we know and family.

But judging is reserved for God & Karma.

We raise our children to give to others before self & family.  Where we (mr & I) may not always be treated like king & queen of the house . . .as long as our children are putting others before themselves, we considered things a success.

Then we started hearing about how we were raising our children with the wrong values. . . 

We raise them to live by Karma. She is a mythical creature that we tease the kids about being in our home and keeping track of their every move waiting to attack for selfish behavior in the inbetweens of the world.

They know the story it is a joke - but that Karma is real.

Sacrifice is the key . . .and we must all do it for others.

I am grateful I have a hard working husband who values what I do.

I am grateful that my oldest son who has a deep love of poetry and poetry in music.

I am grateful that my daughter is so powerful in her mind that she can accomplish anything.

I am grateful that my youngest dreams big (and sings to me).

I am grateful for the extra years I have been given with my dad.

I am grateful for my uncle who can find a song in anything we say.  

I am grateful that my brother and SIL are both practical and dreamers.

I am grateful for sisters who share values and see incredible journeys in life and books.

I am grateful for those who are not blood, but are family.

I am blessed with so many gifts in my life I couldn't possibly count them all.

finals - No, not mine!

Well, it's finals week in North Pole.  3 out of 4 kids are cramming and finishing projects (the 6th grader is either getting off scott free or lying . . . jury is out).

It has been nuts at my house. I have had no more than 5 hours of sleep for DAYS!  It's rough I tell ya.  My head is constantly aching and my neck is sore from crouching over the laptop editing (or writing) papers.

Let me tell you about my daughter's "group" project.  For weeks she has been bustin' her hump (Wednesday reference :) tying to get everything caught up from being sick.  She slipped a little on her We are the Peopl project.  Her group has been a bunch of grumps and mad because she is behind - well, who do they look to when they aren't done?  Yep, us.  She was google drived their final speeches to look over and one was not even on the right subject!!!  It had to be re-written.  For goodness sake.  Parents!  Check up on your kids and their homework!  We promplty went to fixing the speech and then printed out copies for everyone.  What a mess though. The entire paper was not capitalized, not even phrases like Articles of Confederation.  

If their teacher had seen that he would have flipped a lid for sure.

Oldest was a mess in his own way - So down on himself for being "stupid" but then not working his ass off like he ought to be.  He needed a ton of hand holding and we still have 2 more days of tests.  UGH!

I'll let you know if I've got some hair left after this week.

I like. . .

Lists!

I have been listing . . . really.  Just not on here.

Today my list will be - 

"If I had $1,000.00 to spend by tomorrow, I would spend it on . . . "

1. Some Danskos for work!

             2. a sound system for the living room to enjoy Walking Dead

     3.  I would buy my youngest a new ceiling fan

                     4.  I would get some heating fuel and pellets for the stove 

5.  I would totally go onto ebay and get my family new jeans . . . that's right - I ebay their jeans.

            6.  I'd go Etsy crazy and get ceramic mugs for me and my favorite girls.

       7.  I'd buy the newest babies in our families some sweet goodies.

                 8. socks socks socks and maybe one more pair of socks

9. New Uggs for my daughter

         10.  I could easily spend $1,000.00 in one night by paying hockey bills.

Frosty spa

A Frosty Spa

Yep, makes me smile.

What is on the agenda today?  Sick and cranky kids.  Nurse says she is fine . . . teachers want her outta there . . . I'm at work with no possible way to get outta here so 16yo gets to leave school early to go get her.  Feelin' like I totally lost the battle today.  Poo

Two of our Christmas decorations this year.  I had some fun sewing paper snowflakes into garland.  I also make paper envelopes with Advent treats inside and hung them from fabric garland I had made eons ago.  I can't wait until next year's calendar!

I know I can . . .

First things first, some lovies for the eyes.  Well, my eyes anyway.  I adore turquoise and you should too.
It seriously does not feel like a week since I blogged.  I feel like it was, ya know, like just last week.

Turkey day almost went off w out a hitch.  Food was awesome - people incredible - baby to play with - loved ones to chat with -  any hitch really didn't involve me EXCEPT getting in the car.
No, Really.

My family cannot manage to get into a car.  No, we all want to get into several cars at our own pace and make anyone around us scream in furry.  It's kind of our thing.

The rules were simple.  Send family to relatives early so I could finish my portion of cooking and clean up after myself.
1) 16 yo doesn't get up until its time to get into the car.
2) daughter doesn't feel good
3) youngest doesn't want to go early
4) youngest wants to be with 16 yo
5) niece decides not to go to grandpas AND doesn't want to go early
6) husband is annoyed because he can't go early without looking like an ass and leaving me with 4 kids.
7) ham begins to dry out
8) food successfully made, packed and ready to load in car
9) husband convinces boys to go with him
10) husband is ready to go and oldest runs off to brush his teeth
11) I'm ready to go!
12) daughter decides to do her hair
13) daughter decides to get dressed
14) What?!

sigh*

I ♥ life.